As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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