bring money and cleavage
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ok first of all what the fuck
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
