I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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