all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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