i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
