yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
