I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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