I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
