y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
