whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
