im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
