but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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