Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
