"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
