tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
