Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
