He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
