i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
