If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
