You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize