We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
