So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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