i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
