my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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