You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
