Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize