yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
