I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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