Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
