my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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