I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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