He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize