Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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