I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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