Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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