im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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