Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Alive.
So much puke
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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