i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
