That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
