If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
