he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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