I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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