I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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