can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize