we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
