But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i now understand why vodka
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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