$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
