I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
