who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
