Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
