Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
