Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize