Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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