I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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