i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
