dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
