Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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