Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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