I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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