if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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