You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize