If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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