Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
