So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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